1. Long-distance relationships are a bad idea.
2. Now it's ironic, the girl I used to like is helping me impress the girl I now like.
3. Sweetie... It would be cool to have some extra money, but, but, if you're unhappy, it's not worth it.
4. Marshall: I'm sorry, dude, this corporate thing, it's just... it's not for me.
Barney: Oh, of course it's not for you. It's for Lily.
Marshall: What?
Barney: Marshall. Lily's a catch. But do you really think you're going to hang onto a girl that great without the package?
Marshall: The package?
Barney: The package. The house. The car. Sending your kids to a great school. A vacation once in a while.
Marshall: Lily doesn't care about that stuff.
Barney: Well, no-- now she doesn't, but how's she going to feel in a couple years, when she's supporting you on a kindergarten teacher's salary while you're off in court defending some... endangered... South American... flying beaver.
Marshall: She'll be happy.
Barney: Okay. But will you be happy knowing you could have made her a lot happier.
5. Marshall: "Conformity. It's the one who's different that gets left out in the cold." This is a motivational poster?
Barney: Look at yourself, Marshall. You're not happy. And you know why? Because you're different. Now, I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake that you are, or... you could change your entire personality
6. Marshall: Nothing has changed, okay? I still want to help the environment. I just thought that maybe I could make some money for a few years. We could buy an apartment, send our kids to good schools. You could quit your job and focus on your painting. I know that you say you don't need it, but... I love you and I want to give it to you anyway. I want to give you the package.
Lily: The package?! You've already given me the package. You've got a great package, Marshall. I love your package.
Marshall: Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package.
Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this, Marshall Eriksen, but you've got a huge package.
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