Confession

Yesterday was Maundy Thursday. It was the time where every member of the Church is invited to confess there sins to Christ through there Spiritual Directors. It can either be a Priest or a Pastor. In our church I confessed my sins to our Priest. I don't know him but I often see him in church. Without second thoughts in my mind even he can see my face I confessed to him. My face is not important but my soul is.

My shepherding group headed by one of our youth leaders Kuya Nino invited us to have a confession and do the way of the cross. The other group members did not made it because there with there families spending there Holy week with them. Since Kuya Nino together with Jay John was the only two members of our community who don't have  parents anymore. Attended and joined the group. I decided to come since my family can't come. My Dad was on duty and my Mom decided to stay home doing other stuffs. My brothers and little sister weren't interested to come with me even just to confess. On my own I come with them. Our church was filled with people. I'm so grateful to be the third person to confess to our Priest. The line was long and many people wanted to confess. I told Kuya Nino that I have lots to confess. Trying to make him laugh I said my confession would take an hour or more. But within me I know that I really have many sins to confess. Confessing it all to our Parish Priest would not be enough. I think if I could sum it all it would take me a week or more just to confess it all. When its my turn to confess. My mind was snatched and the things I would like to confess got lost. All I have in my mind was nothing. Good thing I remembered one of the very temptation I'm struggling today. 


Many have told me being in a serious relationship is very risky. Especially when your really in love. Sometimes because of being too much in love it can cause you to give everything to the person you love. Even your own body. I love my boyfriend so much and I think I might give something to him not in the right time. I love him so much and I trust him and I believe that it won't happen to us. We both believe in marriage and sex should be sacred that it should be done after marriage. Confessing it to the Lord through our Parish Priest gave me strength to overcome this temptation. I know that temptation was only the first move of Satan to sin but I would like to confess it so Father(our Parish Priest could pray for the both of us). Satan is powerful but not powerful as God. If I depend to God in times I am tempted and both of us is. We can overcome temptation by praying and trusting to Him. Satan would not stop until he does not get what he wants. But if we submit ourselves to God declaring that God owns us Satan will flee. But as life goes on there will be more challenges and trials. Beneath these trials God is working so is Satan. But Me and my boyfriend should not be alarmed we trust God and each other. We know we can make it. 

There are things that I wished I confessed during the confession but since my mind was snatched by the devil I lost it. That's why I think prayer should always be the first move of every move everyone would make. Anyway I realized earlier that I'm also struggling another kind of sin. Not only temptation but a sin as well. I've been trying to get rid of this since last year through prayer. It seems that God is at work He let Satan flee. But since like what I said as long as God is in business so is Satan. So prayer must always be done. Satan would not stop until he does not get what he wants. He changes his form. He can make your old temptation into something new. He makes sure that the second time around you would probably fall to his trap. Like what I'm struggling I know these last semester God really tested me. There is these girl in school that is really popular. She can get what she wants. Every girl envy her. Everyone would die to get the things that she have. From the beauty, talent and brain she's also rich and powerful.  

Like what I often say my parents are really strict. They won't allow me to do things even how educational or helpful it may be. If it wasn't for school well don't do it or don't go. Because of it I believed my self esteem lowered and I pretty needed some encouragement. Seeing her in school confident to have all the things that she wanted put envy in me. I wish I could be like her. She can do anything. Her parents also encourages her to do things even it's not for school. I really envy her for having a parents like them. I've been struggling to lose this envy in me since last year so I often pray to God. Because of it it made me realize that God made her different so am I. I should be happy for who I am and for who my parents are. My parents are really strict but because of them I became hungry of God's words and became curious to Him. They wont allow me to attend any church activities or to be active in curricular activities. Because they believe that it will only waste time and money. If not's for school don't! But because of these they made me drew closer to God.

Still trying to lose this envy in my heart God teaches me a lot of things. Especially to be confident because God loves me whoever I maybe. 

I wished I have confessed more yesterday. Next time I won't allow the devil to snatch the things that I should have confessed. Through Jesus Christ and prayer I know that Satan will flee from me and I can say all the things I wanted to say during confession. Confessing face to face with our Parish Priest was also another temptation for me. It may put me to shame so it pushes me not to confess. But because God is with me and His Holy Ghost worked upon me. I did it I confessed some of my sins. But confessing it to someone is not enough. It is always good to confess it to Jesus Christ through sincere prayers.